I need to go to sleep and forget this whole mess. I’m sick of messes that wouldn’t happen if we were physically together. I know their would be other ones, but these ones now I don’t want.
(via nicolrene)
That means:
I’m excited for school, but a little nervous. I want to move back, but I don’t want to be apart. I’m ready for this year, but I don’t want his leave to be over. It’s a jumbled up head I’ve got.
I’m ready to move on and out of my parent’s house. I want to finish college already so I can get a job and support myself. I want to be independent and incredibly strong. I have to be patient, but I’m sick of being everyone’s baby. I have had so many people tell me that they think of me as a sweet and innocent little girl, or I let people walk all over me. I joke and I play around, but it should be obvious it is just that.
If you are saying that, you don’t know me, but you are infuriating me.
I have never done anything to show people I am less intelligent. less capable or inferior. Do not speak down to me and do not tell me what to do.
Let me fall on my face by mistakes, I will pick myself back up and move on. Let me live my life. Let me be.
I am competent and mature beyond my years.
I have never been a good sleeper, even as a baby, but recently it has gotten terrible. I always wake up a multiple times throughout the night. This morning I woke up at 5:15 for no reason, and I couldn’t fall back asleep for at least an hour. I got much less sleep than the length of my shift at work today.
My sleep, my anxiety, my acne and my stress have all gone to shit. I need to figure out how to get better.
Biggest pain in my ass. My roommate wants to get a one bedroom next year for us to share, the ones she has to get, I either can’t afford or can’t imagine how horrible it will be because the one bedroom is too small.
I know we will ruin our relationship if we live in that tight of quarters next year. So now I’m trying to live in student housing again next year. Even though it is super expensive and I can’t afford it. It’s my best option for being a student. The following year/my last year, I’ll probably live with family and commute a little. That will save money and will be better for when I am finding a job and my mom no longer supports me. It will all work out.
I’m just really worried about telling my roommate I don’t want to live with her. It’s going to break her. I already paid a deposit on the student housing. I’m so worried this is going to ruin our relationship too.
ughhh.
I was just deleting emails and it started flashing all the colors, which it is only supposed to do when my honey contacts me. Just fuck with me phone, I love when you do it. It then froze up, now I don’t think he tried to call me or anything, but my heart just sped up, thinking he was.
I love my blackberry, but I just need a new one now. It gets frozen all of the time, it doesn’t sync well with my computer.
It’s only redeeming factor is that it has all of our old texts saved on there, all the best texts since May.It also has all of our emails since he deployed. I read them all the time, but I spoke to the phone guy and he said they could be transfered to a new phone.
My carrier has shitty reception all over the city. I think most do though:/
/end rant. sorry
