So between my school, internship, student organization and my long-distance-military relationship going through a lot, I am starting to crack. Everything seems so much more than it used to. School is harder. Work is more serious. Student Org is much more time consuming. My boyfriend needs to focus on his stuff at a time when I selfishly need support and comfort from him. Communication between us is back to a minimum. I also have a lot going on with my roommates and friends. It’s all too much for me, which makes me feel like a failure.

I’m stressed out and sick of being that way. Hello anxiety, I think we are going to become very close these next few days. Hey tears, I feel you creeping back. Hi emotions I hate to have, I see you’re here again.

I need to get through a few days or weeks (the time this will take is To Be Determined) and then I will be able to look back and be proud. Just getting there is the difficult part.

/end rant. 

Biggest pain in my ass. My roommate wants to get a one bedroom next year for us to share, the ones she has to get, I either can’t afford or can’t imagine how horrible it will be because the one bedroom is too small. 

I know we will ruin our relationship if we live in that tight of quarters next year. So now I’m trying to live in student housing again next year. Even though it is super expensive and I can’t afford it. It’s my best option for being a student. The following year/my last year, I’ll probably live with family and commute a little. That will save money and will be better for when I am finding a job and my mom no longer supports me. It will all work out.

I’m just really worried about telling my roommate I don’t want to live with her. It’s going to break her. I already paid a deposit on the student housing. I’m so worried this is going to ruin our relationship too. 

ughhh. 

College student night at my favorite pizza place with my favorite girl!