My honey has been unaccessible by phone for a few days, just meaning I can call him but he won’t answer because he can’t. Now he has no phone at all and there is no communication for two days. We hadn’t talked in a while until he woke me up and we chatted for a few minutes this morning at 3AM. Haha back to deployment communication. He is just training that’s what this is all for.

So between my school, internship, student organization and my long-distance-military relationship going through a lot, I am starting to crack. Everything seems so much more than it used to. School is harder. Work is more serious. Student Org is much more time consuming. My boyfriend needs to focus on his stuff at a time when I selfishly need support and comfort from him. Communication between us is back to a minimum. I also have a lot going on with my roommates and friends. It’s all too much for me, which makes me feel like a failure.

I’m stressed out and sick of being that way. Hello anxiety, I think we are going to become very close these next few days. Hey tears, I feel you creeping back. Hi emotions I hate to have, I see you’re here again.

I need to get through a few days or weeks (the time this will take is To Be Determined) and then I will be able to look back and be proud. Just getting there is the difficult part.

/end rant. 

Texts are back, overall. Actual communication is back. I have my baby back. 

Gotta keep telling myself its almost over.

In one week there has been one tiny email and two facebook comments. I know I should be happy with that, but I’m just sick of deployment and I’m sick of little to no communication. It doesn’t matter its almost over, I won’t believe that until it happens.

I want normalcy. I want to be able to hear his voice, that puts me at ease much more than typed words. I want to be able to call him too. I want him.

Soon.

This part really sucks. Just have to keep reminding myself one less week to go through-almost done. I just miss him so much. I miss him in everyway- phone calls are all we have had, and now those are on very short supply.

Its hard to believe his deployment will ever be over.

A girl came in to the store for an Army ball dress and we started talking, I told her deployment isn’t as bad as you would think- it really isn’t, but it is a bitch.

We can do this. We will make it. He is worth everything.

No communication and I don’t know why. 

Have I mentioned how much I hate you, deployment? Fuck this.

Seven days without hearing anything from my other half. I’m doing much better than I thought I would be. 

I hope he is holding up.